The 2nd floor…

As I was sitting in the hallway on the second floor watching the elevator doors open and close as people came and went, I couldn’t help but wonder what it is that these people must be going through, especially to visit this floor. You see, this floor is mainly for oncology but you would never guess by looking at the people who come and go by the smile that many of them have and if it weren’t for their beanies and scarves covering their heads, you would never know.

There seem to be many more women that come and go on a daily basis and as I wait for my grammers to finish up her treatment, I can’t help but notice how beautiful these women are, and yes I’m speaking of the ones that I have lost their hair.  It wasn’t until today that I realized how much one’s hair takes away from the beauty of the face and it’s amazing how much we miss those features and can’t help but wonder, if we were to shave our heads; would anyone recognize us at first glance?

Yesterday morning there was a woman who I would guess to be in her early 30’s who brought in a lady who I can only assume to be her mother. She opened the door while trying to push her mother’s wheelchair through the opened door while carrying a large pink tote bag swung over her right shoulder towards the front of her chest that looked fairly heavy and you could tell that it was one of those days for her and it was taking every ounce of energy to not break down. She looks to be from out in the country somewhere by the way she dresses you can tell who works hard and seems to put off a strong persona though she’s about to crack; and you can see it in her eyes.  I’ve never seen this lady nor her mother before so I’m assuming her mother was just recently diagnosed. As I was sitting there listening to my music, this lady comes back towards the elevator alone and she looks like she’s fine but once those doors started to close I could hear her let out all her frustrations and a loud cry; and I wanted nothing more than to comfort her; and I’d only wished that I had noticed her sooner so I could have been that stranger that could turned her day around even if it was only a tiny  bit.

It is so easy to go on with our days and not say even a hello to someone, when that simple hello can brighten someone’s day. This past Wednesday I was told my dad was in the hospital and that they didn’t know if he was going to make it or not and all of a sudden, my world came crashing down; not only was there a possibility of loosing a parent but a possibility of loosing my only parent left and that is one of the worst feelings in the world. The next day as I was waiting for my bus home after visiting him, I was a wreck! I had barely composed myself when my aunt called and said those four words, “How are you doing?” Was she trying to upset me even more or what?  Sure enough the water works started up again and it didn’t help that I didn’t have anyone to talk to that I knew who would understand even a bit. As I’m trying to compose myself so I didn’t look like a complete fool, a man who was fairly hard looking as if he were to belong to a gang or something similar, spoke up and asked if everything was alright and what was wrong. I didn’t know this guy so obviously I wasn’t going to spill my heart out to him but left it vague by telling him my dad was sick and left it at that. I didn’t seem like I wanted to talk and I know darn well I was very stand-offish but there was also the part of me that wanted him to dig deeper and ask questions so that way I knew someone actually cared. As his bus came up he stayed behind to be the last one to board and waited til I looked up so I could see him leave and all he did was smile and nod his head like he understood what I was going through and I could see it in his eyes that he actually cared and that meant more to me than anything else at that moment. That simple gesture of kindness was all it took to turn my day around, just to know that there are still people out there who care even though we many not know each other.

As I was waiting in my usual spot for my grammers to finish up, a lady in this long blue and pink flower printed dress with a magenta flower print scarf on her head who seemed just there waiting for the elevator when I remembered that man by the bus stop. I asked the lady how she was doing and all of a sudden her face lit up and it was amazing how her face glowed. I complimented on her dress and she went on to tell me why she wears bright colors on her visits, and it was to brighten the moods of others in this usually dreary room where many sit and stare at one another while the are receiving their chemo in the hopes that it will cure what they have. I thought it was amazingly wonderful and caring of this woman to do her small part in trying to brighten someone’s day.

Father’s Day, another photographer I’ve been following, Rebekah Tillotson, had the opportunity to photograph a wonderful little girl named Cheyenne who has cancer and it was because of her, that my eyes were opened to see something that I’ve been so blind to these past few months; and I thank her for that.

As I was sitting there thinking about everything and trying for it to sink all in, I realized that I can do so much more with my photography; I can bring joy to someone and help them feel beautiful again when their life may seem worthless so to speak (I can’t think of a better word). I don’t believe that I would have ever be able to realize this had it not been for God, I truly believe that He’s pointing me in a direction that I would have never thought to go and I can’t wait to see where He leads me.

To pass the time some more this morning while my grammers was on the second floor once more, Taylyn and I decided to have an actual photo shoot we planned out this time and I must say, she did an amazing job! And we had a blast doing it, and yes she’s wearing my boots so they look much too huge on her :)

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2 responses

  1. Natalie Grigorian

    Shana! i just read this entry and was in awe the whole time! your words seemed as if they were from my heart. its so funny because so many of us have felt that way, where we are at our lowest low, and have experienced that small gesture that made us feel like everything will be okay, but when it’s our turn to return the favor, we simply don’t. but i appreciate your entry so much and am so glad that you were able to touch that lady’s heart. Best wishes! and your photos are wonderful! as is the beautiful girl in them!

    July 7, 2010 at 1:13 am

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